Long lost love reappears after marriage..what should I do?

I met a younger man 13 years ago when I was going through my divorce. I fell totally in love with this guy; however, he was in a "rocky" relationship of five years which resulted from his cheating (so he says due to his spouse living in another city). Yes, I started dating him not expecting anything..but I fell in love as I stated. He left the other woman, not for me, she called it quits. After six months into our relationship she reappeared with a lot of "drama" (I got along well with the other woman and yes they both had a kid for him). We dated off and on for three years even after he married the other woman (who left him again). The last time we got together he swore he would never go back..but he did. I remained single for the next eight years until I got him out of my system (so I thought) and met someone else. I am now married and have been for three years and my husband and I share a son. Fast forward to 2008, several months ago while out I ran across my ex. I was thrilled to see him after 8 years (in spite of the bad times the good far outweighed them). We exchanged numbers through a mutual friend and started talking daily on the phone. I have gone out to lunch with him, dinner, etc. (no haven't slept together). At the time that we ran across each other we were both having rough times in our marriage (my husband's ex and his current wife's dislike for his ex). I ped it off as being a time when I needed someone to talk to. However, I now realize I still love him deeply. He is now separated from his wife and living alone. He stated he is not pushing me to leave my husband but wanted me to know he is interested in a committed relationship. Problems: (1) I love my husband, but I love him too. (2) I have a very good husband (in spite of his ex's problems) that provides well for me financially (although he doesn't display affection very much). (3) My husband doesn't drink, smoke, become violent or run the streets (truly devoted family man). (4) Finally, I'm afraid that if I leave my husband for someone I believe to be my soulmate what happens if he goes back to his wife (he has done that twice)? Should I consider moving out into a small apt. until I can clear my mind? I really don't want to lose either man and I know that sounds selfish. Please advise without criticism.